We’ve all seen the inspirational quotes (heck, some of them may have even been my quotes!)
“You are loved.” “You are enough just as you are.”
It’s easy to believe these kind of statements when everything in your life feels like it’s going great.
Maybe you had a great day at work, a bonus, got a love note from someone, finished a great workout. We’ve all had those awesome days where you feel like you are in alignment with the universe.
But what about when things aren’t going so perfectly?
What if you’re going through a rough patch? What happens when you drop the ball, or things aren’t going exactly to your perfect plan? How do you love yourself when shit hits the fan?
I was talking to a woman the other day at a non-profit event I was hosting, and she asked me, “How do you be in gratitude when everything is not so great?”
The truth is, we have to figure out how to get away from the natural default to hang onto the negative things in life.
We grip onto the negativity, latch onto the bad days, but it’s like we have no way of grabbing hold of the positive things. It’s fleeting.
So why hang onto the shit? I must be a moron to hang onto the negative stuff. It’s never served me other than to reinforce more negative in my life. I’ll just draw more of it towards myself. I know this in my mind, but when I’m in it, it feels… somehow different.
So anyways, I was talking to this woman at the event…
I admitted to her that that morning, I had woken up tired, overwhelmed. I had a lot to get done for the day, I knew I had a non-profit event I was running that night, and I hadn’t gotten much sleep. I looked in the mirror and really looked myself in the eyes. Not just the usual critical glance over myself. I found myself standing there having a weird conversation about having a choice. A choice about how my day was going to go. And as I was standing there, with my dogs looking up at me intently, I finally just said, “Okay, fine. I’m grateful.” But what am I really grateful for?
So I started a list of things like:
I’m grateful I woke up.
I’m grateful that I have a warm house I was standing in.
I’m grateful for the people in my life
I’m grateful for being alive and that I’m healthy.
Deep breath in. Exhale.
I think self-love starts small. It starts with focusing on something you CAN hang onto. And gratitude is a really great place to start. Gratitude is kind of like stepping stone that can help move us toward self-love.
So yes, it’s not always easy to find the gratitude. But it’s a start. And it can springboard me into other positive things, like having compassion, being truthful, or even having patience with myself.
Love & Light
Soulaire
