Whenever we want to change our lives, we conjure up some massive goal like: “I desire to make more money” or “lose 30 lbs” or “love myself more.”
Okay. Well, that’s a start.
The problem is, these are just big actions.
I’m sorry to say it, but anyone with some willpower can half-ass their way through any number of these. But over time, we usually end right back where we started crying into the bottom of our pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (I’m not speaking from personal experience or anything.)
But, why?
Real changes come from a change in our habits; those actions we are so accustomed to doing.
A change in habits comes from a long, sustained alteration of small actions. Small goals. Small attitude adjustments. Small gratitude’s. Small shifts in how we look at things. These teeny tiny actions add up, creating the bigger shift, the bigger changes we desire to see in our lives.
Think about it this way: Imagine we are both in our own cars, driving down the road, side by side. We come to a fork in the road; I take one road, you take the other. But the two forks are only separated by one degree. Now we’re really only traveling on separate paths ever so slightly.
At first the change is so slight, you can barely tell that we’re headed in different directions. We sip our strawberry smoothies, waving to one another.
But the truth is- we’re not on the same course anymore.
Fast forward ahead, and if we both stay on the same track, our paths continue to separate further and further apart. And over time, we’ll end up far, far away from each other in very, very different places. We wonder, “Why did it work out so well for them? How did I end up over here?”
Somewhere in it, you missed a detail.
You hit a bump in the road that sent you slightly in a different direction.
We’re so focused on the endgame – to lose 50 lbs; make more money; travel to a gazillion places; land the perfect man, etc. we miss the journey, the unfolding of our lives. We miss the signs along the road telling us to “take this road, the other has potholes.”
We’re missing the details that matter, the clear road signs attempting to direct us to our highest good path. We’ve become consumed, seeing each road block and detour as a failed attempt, instead of seeing it as a bend in the road taking us where we desire to go.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for creating vision boards, working on goal-setting, and mapping out our desires. In fact, I’m a firm believer that when we focus on the “What” and “Why” the rest has a way of falling into place in our lives. But I think if we could focus more on being in the moment and catching the details of our life, we wouldn’t be watching our lives sail away into the sunset without us.
We have to learn to pause; and I mean, really pause.
It’s not so much about tuning out, as it is tuning in; stopping wherever you’re at and examining where your headspace is. When you pause long enough you start to get clarity and build a stronger relationship with yourself. You will begin to see patterns in how you react to the road bumps and conflicts, pausing for your spiritual practice in a busy workday, pausing to listen to a great song, pausing long enough to have a real conversation with someone, pausing long enough to ask someone for directions when you feel lost. Sometimes it’s simply stopping long enough to listen- really listen- to what your own spirit, your own higher self is trying to direct you towards. It’s getting back into that sacred space, that void that we so often try to fill.
When you don’t pause, you can get caught in the riptide of life. You miss those moments that would have helped keep you on the best path. It’s those little adjustments that keep you on course.
You envision “life changes” as big leaps of faith, cliff jumping into the unknown. The giant leaps are what you think you have to do, and yes, sometimes the universe has a way of putting things in your face, so that you have to well… face them. But I also believe the universe can help guide you in a gentle way towards those small steps that help us get there as long as we’re willing to slow down and face them.
You just have to do your legwork.
Be clear enough to stay on the path, recognize the road bumps that are telling you when you’re off course and willing to do whatever it takes to get back on track. That means remembering you are not doing it alone. The universe has your back. Surround yourself with people who know your patterns and love you enough to tell you when you are off course. Those are the keepers.
Love & Light,
Soulaire
